By Camilla Smith
Guru is a Sanskrit term for a “mentor, guide, expert, or master” of certain knowledge or field In Sanskrit, guru means literally dispeller of darkness. Traditionally, the guru is a reverential figure to the disciple or student, with the guru serving as a “counselor, who helps mold values, shares experiential knowledge as much as literal knowledge, an exemplar in life, an inspirational source and who helps in the spiritual evolution of a student. A guru is also one’s spiritual guide, who helps one to discover the same potentialities that the guru has already realized.
Now I don’t deny that I might qualify as a guru in some ways! I should have a certain amount of knowledge in certain fields. I should help to dispel darkness. I should be “the counselor who helps to mold values, share experiential knowledge,” etc. I’m not sure I should be a spiritual guide, but on the other hand, spirituality is often a facet of growth and discovery.
So don’t come to see me thinking I will be your guru. You have to do the hard work yourself. I sometimes think the role of the counselor is to be a mirror; to reflect back an image of the client that helps them to see themselves as I see them, which is someone with great potential, someone who is struggling, but not because they are lesser or weak in some way, but because they have almost always been through a living hell and are only doing what they can to survive. Don’t start to think that the counselor will solve all your problems. I often feel that I am a facilitator, at best. I can provide insight, feedback, and encouragement. Often, the encouragement seems to me to be one of the most important things. “You are more amazing than you realize.” “I can’t believe what all you’ve come through and you’re still such an awesome person.” I promise people 100% they can get better; how much better depends on how hard they are willing to work, how much they really want change. Trauma is reversible, but it is not a quick and easy fix. As long as the client sees the counselor as the guru, they don’t take the responsibility for making the changes themselves.
I’m not just pretending to believe the encouraging things I say to people. Anyone who is willing to come week after week, bare their soul, risk the pain of revelation and realization, is a hero in my eyes. I feel honored and humbled to be with such a person and walk along this journey with them. Human beings are so easily damaged, and the work of restoring is long and difficult. However, it is worth the effort. Where one has lived in despair, darkness and fear, one can suddenly be in the sunlight, seeing the world around them through new eyes. I am constantly amazed at the process of restoration.
Well, maybe I am your guru. But most of all, you are your own guru. You are your own teacher; you are your own guide. Let’s hold hands and walk each other home!